I want to be a real boy...

I’ve been thinking about making a new blog,
One that I can write down deeper thought.
My hair is going toward the side, it reminds me or
Cat’s hair before her hair cut. Im about to cry.
For reasons that I only know why. Im scared, don’t
Take this away from me. I think she’s asleep.
I’m looking at my scars. Will there come a time when
I’ll say I’ve had enough? Give me motive? Give me
Courage? Give me something to believe in? Give me
Someone to fall back on, but haven’t I already been
Given her? Would she catch me? If so I hope you van hold
The weight of the world in those arms of yours. I’m looking at
A picture of sherry that I have, why? I don’t understand.
Im thinking of something I wrote, I pictured a man, beaten and week,
He drops to his knees in front of a puddle, he is almost terrified to look
And see his reflection, it’s been awhile since he’s seen his own face.
He look at himself and turns his hand into a fist and out of rage he strikes
The puddle and breaks up the image of the animal. He wishes he were stronger,
Wishes he could have something powerful, but even if he did, he knows it wouldn’t
Even make a difference. Have you ever felt that way? Im telling myself not to think this way, in my mind I’m saying, “ chin up soldier, eyes up at mine. See that necklace around your neck? Yes believes in you, she loves you, and at the end of the day that’s’ all you have soldier so stay strong, if not for me, for her.” I feel like it’s my duty to stand this ground and protect her. So many things are going though my mind, but does any of it even matter? I love you