someday....

hey my friend saw your profile and thinks you look hot! she is new to myspace but wants to chat with you on msn messenger her name on there is emily25glory@hotmail.com

me hot? i think not, ah fuck this, i think im gonna sleep the year away.
i don't know what to say, ;X

This silly boy from texas misses home :'(

hey MASTERR YODA thank you so much for being there for my best friend marissa. andthank you so much for being the boy you are now, and i know that you've had some hard times in your life which none of your friends may ever be able to understand, but i look up to you so much even though i don't really know you. i am amazed at how strong you are mentally, and one day i hope to be as strong as you. i am so glad i know who you are at least because now i know that it is possible to survive situations where you feel so far away from everyone around you. i just wish that i could be there for you like you have been there for me.

(me) im singing, blah. im picturimg something but it dosent materr.... <3 fallow me?

stupid boy

lately i've been thinking in spanish and it's strange,
im loooking at my scar on the top of my wrist. the heart.
this stupid boy misses his baby =( well im going to clean up the quads untill
there white as the snow brcause theres nothing better to do :/ well i guess this is goodbye..... (i have saying goodbye)..... <3

Te mando flores (i'll send you flowers)

i would translate the whole song but im gonna leave soon :/
i love this song tho, idk, when im really happy i think in spanish
since it was what i spoke since like first grade because i didn't know
english. jen got it fast and i didnt. well now im thinking in spanish and it's making it hard to type any longer so, love always, bryan <3

wow, i have aton of pink scars on my tummy :/
well anywhoo im watching rush hour with jen and singing in my head =)
oh and cat might wanna see the play off game with me :D

gosh it's sunday already? :/
i wish that we could count down the seconds
left of 2007 together ut im sure that wont happen :(
well i got a mustang in the game and spend like 35k on it so now it's better
than my other car (wayyy better) and just blah :/ <3 bryan

i so don't have a life, so i was playing most wanted and i was like wtf it's wayyy to quite, so i went upstairs and yelled jen? she does this all the time..... and she jumps out of nowhere and scares the helling hell out of me. well my heart was pounding because i thought she was gonna scare me and then the phone rings and it my mom and the first thing i say, is jen with you?!?! and she said yes to then i was releaved and buried my face into my steelers blanket. and gosh i keep forgeting my passwords because i wanted something new and i keep typing in my old one so i remind myself with your necklace =) well im singing the freddy song becasue im a loserr, over and out..... love your life partner, bryan. ps.... this is a waste of time so don't read it? pss... i'll stop talking now, opss pss..... <3

i keep thinking of my dream....
the one with my daughter... <3 i love you catalina *holds your head on my chest*

Tell me what i love? <3

Im speachless, im looking at a picture of sherry and im close to crying. Now im thinking of the last time I was home, on my last day there,looking at my star while I sat on the roof and smoked. I wish I could go back. I wish for :x I wish too much, what am I five? Most of them will never come true anyways, I should leave behide all my childish hopes and dreams and face reality. It hard to breath and the first tear just rolled down my cheek. I don't know what to think of. I want to say somthing but it wouldn't matter.do I even make a difference? My heart just hit the floor, I wanted to sing when I started to feel this but I wouldn't allow myself to sing it away. I love you, why can't you see that? I can't stop crying, im sorry....

i feel like im missing something,
i took a nap today and i had an other dream <3
my dreans are amazing but will they ever become reality?
i know what im missing, im missing you. i just fliped my hair into my face and sigh. im thinking of everything, i can feel my heart slowly beating but i miss you so much that it hurts =( in my dream i saw you and i, it was sunset and i hugging you from behide and i had my head over your shoulder and we watched the sun go down... <3

:/ talk to me?

This made me cry

All your twisted thoughts free flow
To everlasting memories
Show soul
Kiss the stars with me
And dread the wait for
Stupid calls returning to us to life
We say to those who are in love
It can't be true 'cause we're too young
I know that's true because so long I was
So in love with you
So I thought

A year goes by
And I can't talk about it

On my knees
Dim lighted room
Thoughts free flow try to consume myself in this
I'm not faithless
Just paranoid of getting lost or that I might lose
Ignorance is bliss cherish it
Pretty neighborhoods you learn too much to hold
Believe it not
And fight the tears
With pretty smiles and lies about the times

A year goes by
And I can't talk about it
The times weren't right
And I couldn't talk about it

Chorus romance says goodnight
Close your eyes and I'll close mine
Remember you, remember me
Hurt the first, the last, between
Chorus romance says goodnight
Close your eyes and I'll close mine
Remember you, remember me
Hurt the first, the last, between

And I'm praying that we will see
Something there in between
Then and there that exceeds all we can dream
So we can talk about it

[guitar solo]

Chorus romance says goodnight
Close your eyes and I'll close mine
Remember you, remember me
Hurt the first, the last between
Chorus romance says goodnight
Close your eyes and I'll close mine
Remember you, remember me
Hurt the first, the last time

And I'm praying that we will see
Something there in between
Then and there that exceeds all we can dream

And all these twisted thoughts I see
Jesus there in between
And all these twisted thoughts I see
Jesus there in between

i've been singing this for a while

I won't talk
I won't breathe
I won't move 'til you finally see
That you belong with me

You might think I don't look
But deep inside the corner of my mind
I'm attached to you
I'm weak, it's true
'Cause I'm afraid to know the answer
Do you want me too?
'Cause my heart keeps falling faster

I've waited all my life
To cross this line
To the only thing that's true
So I will not hide
It's time to try
Anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true

You don't know what you do
Everytime you walk into the room
I'm afraid to move
I'm weak, it's true
I'm just scared to know the ending
Do you see me too?
Do you even know you met me?

I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing that's true
So I will not hide
It's time to try
Anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true

I know when I go
I'll be on my way to you
The way that's true

I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing that's true
So I will not hide
It's time to try anything to be with you
All my life I've waited

This is true

I’m afraid of the things I’ll never get the chance to say,
I don’t want to hold back but I’m afraid I’ll get hurt.
I want to say something but the other have of me silenced me
With a finger over my lips. I’m thinking of my dream, I wonder what she thought
When I gave her my note. I’m singing a lullaby, I wish you knew, I knew you could feel this, live it

sing with me?

hey, It's 2:55 and im gonna go to sleep soon.
*yawnnn* ashley is sleeping over, i missed her, shes
like my other big sister, we grew up together. she did my make up and made me
look like a clown =) well the blonde like blew my mind when she said what if you have two daughters? i never thought of that before, well im gonna sing this last song and well nighty night. *kisses tooth* <3 bryan

-) ashley is sleeping over for the next two days,
well sing, sing, sing, <3 over and out

Merry christmas everyone,
well im singing and thinking
of my angel <3 tomorrow is gonna ops i mean later on today...
gonns be boring, i guess i'll just play call of duty four and gears of war and blah... god damn my stomach hurts, my dad grabed me and it hurt so bad i wanted to scream. well im gonna read for a while, *kisses tooth* over and out, <3 bryan

gosh it hurt so bad to take a shower today,
it even blead, but it'll heal and scar within the next week or so.
welll she mage my day by saying her only two words today <3 i saw one of my gifts and it's cool but no matter what i get her gift means so much more to me because she made it and i know theres nothing like it <3 well im gonna watch a batman flick so over and out, <3 bryan (i lovee you catalina, *kisses your forehead*)

:'(

jhow does metal break??
my braclet broke ;'(

well its a new day and
last night i had a dream.
In it i held her so close to my
chest our hearts beat together <3

Well today was I don’t know…
This day dragged on forever and I didn’t hear
A word from cat but it’s okay im sure she’s busy.
Well I’m wearing my gift <3 and listening to lie to me.
The next week or so might as well be eternity because not seeing her face for that
Long is soooo gonna suck. Gosh I love singing, I just get lost in the song and I let the lyrics touch me. I’m thinking of the note I gave her, I wonder what she thought. I had an other dream but I kind of don’t what to say what it was of, dreams…. I can feel my heart beat. That made me think of when she laid her head on my chest. I loved so many part of that night that it would be hard where to choose to start. I’m not excited at all for Christmas, that holiday is always the hardest for me for reasons I’m not too sure of. I remember when he got that phone call and that was the first time I’ve seen him cry and I haven’t seen him cry ever since. I one time I asked him if he misses her and I was this look in he’s eyes and before he said anything I told him to not say anything because that was all I needed. Now im thinking of sherry, when we found out if was like a nightmare, was it really happening? If this is a joke it wasn’t funny, we all took it so hard. Well I wont say an other word. I just kissed her necklace and now im starting to get teary eyed. Now im thinking of what you said <3 Im thinking of things that im afraid to say but one day I’ll say them. My thoughts are racing :/ I wonder, I wish, I hope, I dream, I pray, I fight for, I love you Catalina <3

:x

She's so gorgeous i bet she spits out glitter <3

22/12/7?

was amazing to say the least <3

well im adding new songs and more pics onto my cell and just blah :/
i can't shake the thoughts that are on my mind. well im just gonna have to suck it up and make the best out of the resy of the day. i feel weak, i wonder....
i can't feel my heart beat... bye

a had a strange dream once again but =)

i feel like crying but it's for a good reason

I've been singing this in my head and i whisper it when im around people

Lately I've been wandering
Off the narrow path
You've given me so many things that I've never had
All in all I know it's you that always pulls me through
If you reach deep inside you'll see my heart is true

I Am Legend at 6:45 good?
East windsor?

I still can't put my hand into a fist,
well it's like 9:30 and blah there nothing to do,
wait movie times. now theres somthing to do.

well im gonna stay up till three or four watching movies,
the mall wasnt great, john didnt want to be seen with us ;/
i can't wait for tomorrow night. gosh my knee hurts :/ well off to see something on hbo i go. over and out bryan <3

the words believe and never give up are repeating over and over in my head.
i love the picture of you that you posted, i see your lips and my necklace and your coat is cute and the heart and your nose =) which makes me think of the dance i loved that) <3 your life partner, bryan <3

Today was great but I was lost in deep thought during fifth and lunch and 6th.
People asked me if something was wrong because I “looked so sad” Ashley told me that we’re a match made in heaven so that was pretty sweet and she said some other things that made me smile. Well In Mr.’s class we drew and I asked him how he proposed to he’s wife and other things so :} today was great and I loved the end of the day <3 how was the gum by the way =)? Well I got this pink lighter and im going to the mall later and then tomorrow to the movies with cat and I’ll give her, her gift then and on sundayy football! So the next two days are gonna be sweet <3 over and out <3 bryan

I'm Mr.Bright Eyes

My heart just sank :(
I feel vulnerable, even though there hasn't been anyone to fight; I've kept on hand on my sword. I don't want to go to school tomorrow, lets see if I can weasel my way out of it. I can't wait to give her, her gift I’m scared, Im picturing something but :x. over and out <3 bryan

It's so dark outside,
would you like to walk with me?

wait is there a catch?
jen couldnt see me today so :)
and i so forgot that we play today,
and mall later to get gifts and hmmm.... why are things going my way?
and im gonna skip 3th and 4th bevause of jen so :) gosh this is strange....
i wonder if she liked the end of the day. i love when she pulls me in and....
and what she said today and just <3

Day one of no one left to fight,
today was nice, i wonder tho...

I feel at peice with myself for once,
this must be how it feels to have no one left
to fight. Well im gonna cross my fingers and hope that this day will
go by fast because well i finish the book for history two days ago and the class
is rather boring now. and in the past few days the testes were reallyy easy. well my mind is set on one thing and well i need to get ready for school. so over and out. <3 bryan

I feel like an open wound this is me, bryan.
I want to say something and I’m going to say it.
I’ve taken it upon myself to try to protect you and gaby.
I sorry if you find this strange but you two mean so much to me and I never want you see you two hurt. I can’t stop crying but it’s fine. I can save the world. I can make a difference. I once told myself that I was nothing more than a waste of oxygen but that’s not true. I told myself I was ugly and I believed it, When I see my reflection in the mirror I take a long hard look and stare into my eyes and I think to myself that I’ve came a long way. There’s this girl and she makes everything worth wild. I wish she could hear my heart beat because it’s all because of her. I remember a time when I couldn’t feel my heart beat and I thought I was dead, I was cold to the touch and now im alive, I’m alive. When I’m around her I have to remind myself to breath and she has the greatest effects o me. Nothing in the world is better than having her in my arms. I’m so lucky to have such a wonderful girl as my life partner. I still cannot stop crying, im sorry if you find this strange but it feels right. I love you Catalina Rose McKay <3

The things i'll never say

im starting to get teary eyed but i don't want to fight these tears back,
when gaby came up to us at the end of the day i wanted to hug both of you and say these are my girls but little gaby went away too fast. im really starting to cry now but it's okay. i make a difference, i didn't know <3 i love you

wow i just noitced no one has called me baby in years :/

blah

19/12/7

was AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGGGG <33333333
im soooooo like wow!! <3333333 i love you soooooo
fuckingg much catalina <3

Im burning this Lullaby into my memory,
soon i'll know it by heart... i can't help but to
wonder... shhh bryan lets not even think about it.
where my meaning, i still wonnder if anyone needs me somewhere out there,
anwhere. i've been thinking about the past alot, i'm sick of knowing i can not stand on my own yet i keep coming back for more. i wish i knew, give me meaning. im sorry

18/12/7?

well today was fine,
wait no, better than fine!
:D i took the long way to seventh and
:}, ohh and i finished the book for mr.d!!
and blondie flicked mashed potatoes at this girls face and
it was amazingg haha. :) i could have and wanted to kiss you forever but there was like two teachers right there :/ but still <3 well over and out, <3 bryan

Night of Hope

I just got finished watching my steelers dvd and it gives me hope, =) I wore my steelers scarf today, well anywho tonight I shall go to sleep with my shirt that has hines on it and with the thought of my angel in my mind <3 I miss her so much when she's not around, I kinda didn't want to say it because im not sure if she feels the same way but gosh right now I feel as if I could touch her beautiful face that that'll be how hope feels like. I never take one second of wearing her necklace for granted, never. :/ I haven't seen gaby like she usealy is, (a big fucking ray of sunshine) =) the Mckay sisters mean a lot to me, <3 catalina is hope and faith and so much more, and gaby is like happyness and like just so high off life but I haven't seen her like that in a while. Keep your head up kid, and if you can't do it on your own then that's why you have the people that are besides you. That's something I've learned over time. Well it's 10:13 and im gonna call it a night? For once this boy has hope, <3 the fight seems to have gotten easyer, my emenies have gotten weaker but I believe that one point there will be a time where one will arise from the ashes and give me a fight for all the marbles. But I'll be waiting, so with love, hope and faith I have made something out of nothing, and that's better than any magic. I've grown a rose out of concret <3 I find it hard to sleep at night, but for once it's a goodthing. Well before I go on any longer, I bid you farewell. Love always, bryan. (Catalina's life partner<3, whom loves her more that she loves me :p, sorry I just had to add this)

when i think rain i think of the rainy
football game and how wonderful that night truely was <3 *gets teary eyed*

goshh im sooooooo colddd *shiversss* hug me to warm me up?

my left hand smells like you

i kinda liked the way i looked?

she dosent seem okay :/
or maybe she's tierd? or bored?
well either way im will gonna hold her close when
i see her <3 over and out, bryan

keep your head up gaby

Would she be proud of me?
I feel like crying but I want to be strong.
I was given a second chance but I feel like
Even I have disappointed him. When will I be
Able to place my sword down? As much as I don’t want to
Some to terms with it I know in my heart that this is a battle that’ll never end..
In a world so cold what is there to really fight for? I went in time after time blind but
In the end I was able to turn darkness into light. I must keep hope, that’s what sherry would have wanted me to do.

Hush now baby don't you cry
Rest your wings my butterfly
Peace will come to you in time
And I will sing this lullaby

Know though I must leave, my child
That I would stay here by your side
And if you wake before I'm gone
Remember this sweet lullaby

And all love through darkness
Don't you ever stop believing
With love forlorn
With love you'll find your way
My love

The world has turned the day to dark
I leave this night with heavy heart
When I return to dry your eyes
I will sing this lullaby

Yes I will sing this lullaby

bitter sweet week,
but our lose is okay,
when we went to win thw super bowl
we were someting and five so we just have to keep our heads
up and do what we do best. but goddanm getting up tomorrow is gonna suck :/
i still can't shake off the imange of me sitting on my window sill :'(

:/

*sigh*

im thinking of that lonely halloween night where i sat on my window sill :(

you know how you can change the dierection in which a snow blower throws the snow?
well i was out there with my dad and he nailed me! :D i saw it like a sec before it for get and i closed my eyes and thought fuck. :) i'm gonna get his ass back tho *evil smile*

Big day in the nfl

i hope the browns lose,
and the past, the jets are odd like they beat
the pats when i went to the game and hell they even beat us.
well it snowed like three or four inches :) talk to me?

16/12/7

Good morning hun,
wow i went to sleep like eightish.
i had a pretty sweet dream, i hope that it'll come true.
:} i'll make it happen? well damn the 49ers won last night over cinci 20- 13.
odd week in the nfl huh? denver lost to the texans. i wonder whats on my girl's mind. :} my arm looks like it's been ran over again. :/ my sentences are all chopy and my thoughts too, <3 im thinking of the dance, well i'll be back. over and out <3

i wish i knew,
i wish i knew ;/

Why is it that at times I feel like I can hold the weight of the world up with one hand and at others I feel like I’m being buried underneath it . I would post something but I just don’t know…

talk

here?

who's my little girl? =)

know the answer?

I think this guy is right

When i listen to this song, i definately get the feeling that he's singing about suicide, but not a sudden one, rather one that's been long and drawn out. I see a person suffering from depression before finally taking his or her own life. I think that's what he means by "sometimes goodbye's the only way". The person comitting suicide sees their death as the only way out. "The sun will set for you", i think, is a refrence to how the sunset is the end of the day, thus a sunset would be the end of their life. I think the line "sometimes solutions aren't so simple" is saying that the simple solution to depression is just take some medicine and don't feel sad anymore, but in reality, the illness isn't that simple to conquer. I get the idea that it wasn't this person's first attempt at suicide with "In cards and flowers on your window, your friends all plead with you to stay."

However, no matter what the meaning of the song is, it's beautiful.

Good morning

How's five hours of sleep for ya bry? I stayed up till 5:13, well im laying in my bed listening to japanese music =) I wonder what she's thinking of, well im gonna get up now

This boy can't go to sleep

You will sing me a lullaby?
i just pictured something but i don't think it'll happen,
but maybe someday it'll go the other way so i can do it,
i wonder if she's asleep, it's 3:00 now and i think i'll be up till five something.
i just can't fall asleep, now im thinking of when i was running my hands though her hair. i just can't stop thinking of tonight. it's so dark outside. I wonder what are the things that she liked the most about tonight. one of these days i'll sing you a lullaby. now i just pictured you falling a sleep in my arms, i picture many things, i hope most of them can someday happen. well chucky and halloween are on so i'll watch them. When will this boy ever go to sleep? goodnight? wait but it's the next day so good morning? :p <3 love always, bryan

amazing three

tonight 14/12/7

so i put on my hometown shirt and my steelers hoodie =)
tonight was great <3 i couldnt ask for anything more than what i got tonight <3

i don't have a good feeling about tonight :(

i feel like something is gonna go so wrong :(
what do i do?

Make my wildest dream come true?

I believe that dreams are sacred
Take my darkest fears and play them
Like a lullaby
Like a reason why
Like a play of my obsessions
Make me understand the lesson
So I'll find myself
So I wont be lost again

im worried

:( i hope i don't walk out those doors tonight with my head down,
i don't know what to think, i wonder? naw? hold my head up in hope that my mind would stay in one place? ;(

*yawn* broken never gets old

gosh im so sleepy,
well right now i like the way i look :)
i think school starts at 9:30 and well blahh :/

<3

shawn must be happy that everyone knows the lyrics =)

Mr.Brightside

And now im falling asleep and she’s calling a cab while he’s having a smoke and she’s having a drag.

well it's almost seven =) i threw a snowball at jen while she went to get something from my mom's car =) i soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx can't wait until the dance!!!!!!!1 gosh but i hope i don't look bad ;/

snow

i went onside for a while and i watch the snow hit my arms and they melted so quick.
idk but it's nice, like billions and billions of snow fakes fall and no one is the same <3

i can't stop thinking

of somthing =) <3

Golden idea!! <3

i had thee best idea for a christmas gift for her!
i told jen and she was like aw, if i had a boyfriend i wish he'd do that for me. :)
i sooooo can't wait for the weekend, i hope she'll like it! im so happy right now but im still disapointed that i didnt go to school today, my mommy said it's gonna snow like hell so she she i had to stay home :( im sooooooooooooooooo excited!!!!!!!!!!! i reallyyyyy hope she'll like it <3

surveyy

1. Your Name: bryan

2. Age: 14 (wow im 14, it still wasnt sunk in yet)

3. Fave Color: black? or blue

4. Whats your sign? Sagittarius

5.Phone Number: you know it

6. Location: home? you tell me

7. Height: 5'7

8.Hair (color and style): black/ haha emo i guess?

9.Piercings/tattoos:i use to have my lip pierced


HERE COMES THE FUN ... ... ...


1. Are we friends? more than that =)

2. Do you have a crush on me? Wayy more than that

3. Would you kiss me? Defiantly

4. ...with tongue? :x (looks up) *smiles* sorry if you find that odd

5. Would you enjoy it? :x look up at four

6. Would you ever ask me out? already done =)

7. Would you make a move on me in a movie theater? ummmmm,*smiles*

9. Would you take care of me when I'm sick? better believe it =)hell i'd be around you so much i would get sick to =)


10. Do you want to tell me something that you couldn't before? i tend to tell you everything

11.Would you walk on the beach with me? yes, yes, yes, would you?

12. If you heard a rumor about me, would you defend me? yeahh

13. Do you/have you talked about me? in a good way <3

14. Do you think I'm a good person? only thee best person i've met

15. Would u take a nap with me? yupps

16.Do you think I'm cute? more like stunning <3

17. If you could change anything about me -would you? not one single thing

18.Would you dance with me? i've been wanting to but i thought you wouldnt dance with me

19.Would you come over for no reason just to hang out? yeah if you wanted me to


What Do You Think Of My?

1.Personality: prettyy sweer


2.Eyes: Mesmerizing


3.Face: beautiful


4.Hair: wayy vetter than mine :p


W0ULD Y0U...
give me your number? psttt, you already have it
kiss me? anytime
let me kiss you? *smiles* i would never stop you
watch a movie with me? yepp
take me out to dinner? sure why not?
drive me somewhere? if i were 16 yeah
hug me? yupps and tightly
buy me food? yupps
take me home to meet your family? yeah
would you let me sleep in your bed if i didn't have one? i'd get floor, yea i would
sing car karaoke w/ me? haha sureee =)
sit in the doctors office with me because I didn't want to go alone? that sounds like somthing i'd do, yeah i would
re-post this for me to answer your questions? yes, yes, yes
give me a piggyback ride? i'd lovee to :D
come pick me up at 3 am because my car ran out of gas in the middle of nowhere? road trip! =)


D0 Y0U...
think I'm cute? your wayy past cute
want to kiss me? read my mind and you tell me
want to cuddle with me? (looks up with a smile)

AM i...
__odd? fun yeah__odd but fun?
__yuppsss__cute?
___you make me giggle =)_funny?
__your my little dorkk ;p__ cool?
___yepp, even tho it's quite when we talk for the most part_interesting to talk to?




HAVE Y0U EVER...
thought about me? always
thought there might be an "US"? many times
thought about hookin up with me? hooking up? no
found yourself wanting to kiss me? OMGGGG YESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!
wished i were there? yeahh <3

everything i do, i do it for you

i like singing this in spanish and english =)
i reminds me of alot. Especially this one lovely girl <3
i've been thinking alot lately (well i always am but ah hell nvm) i hope
i make a difference, i wonder and i hope...<3 well i wonder if i give it to her if she'd like it? it's my favorite. who knows maybe she will? well it's worth a shot

Bruce

Fort Minor

i don't know what to think

say something?

today

i was sleepy was hell and i fely like someone was gonna say hey shit face ;/

13/12/7

just try to understand this isn't what i planned
this ride's out of my hands
so now i'm forced to be something i can not be
if only i could make you see

[chorus]

tonight i'm alive
i've watched you all grow up and so have i
inside this isn't really what i had in mind
i no longer relate to this world of hate
that's forced upon my plate
i tend to disagree, i hope its not just me,
alone if only i could make you see

well ive been up for 10mins and i still can't make a fist,
i just wanna sleep. Read my mind and tell me who im thinking of <3

;/

i can feel the tears builing up behide my eyes,

and if tyou chose to walk away i'd still be waiting

thats somthing tori would post just to make you read her bulleting or blog.
well i have ccd tonight and it sucks. i wonder......

survey

If you opened it, you have to do it.
or a loved 1 will be in an accident.
1. two Names You Go By:
-- bryan
-- bry

2. Three Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
-- steelers hoodie <3
-- shorts
-- my fan club shirt

Love Survey
You must answer every question TRUTHFULLY!!
[01]Do you like anyone? more like LOVE =) <3


[02] Have you ever been given a rose?
nope

03] What is your all-time favorite romance movie.?
to hard to chose

04] Do you believe that everyone has a soul-mate?
yupps, i do


[06] Whats your current problem?
*points to head*

[07] Have you ever had your heart broken?
when someone died yeah :(

08] Your thoughts of online or long distance relationships?
online= stupid
long distance= hard

[10] Do you want to spend the rest of your life with the person you are dating?
wouldnt you like to know *smiles* <3

[11] How many kids do you want to have ?
two but no more than three

[12] what is/are your favorite colors?
white
black
purple
blue
green



14] Do you believe you truly only love once?
no?

[15] Imagine you're 79 & your spouse just died, would you get re-married?
nope

[17] what song do u want to be played at your wedding?
somthing fun and some slow songs =)

[18] Do you believe in love at first sight?
yupps

today

i looked ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww :/

i'll be back

i gotta redo my all school things and clean my room.

This is on my myspace

so theres this girl


and she's always on my mind,

i love how she can't help but to smile when

she sees me, i love the was she laughs,

i love the feeling that i get when im around her,

i love the way her fingers fit perfectly in the spaces between my fingers,

i love how her lips feel on mine.

im so afraid of loosing her,

a cold tear just ran down my cheek,

but it's okay, soon i'll see her again,

she's beautiful, and she's my catalina

answer this for me?

1.Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it:
kitty because i like y's and kitties are cute just like you =)

2. Am i lovable?: Yes,yes, yes <3

3. How long have you known me?: well i knew who you were in sixth but
i've on;y gotten to know you the last 7o days i wanna say

4. When and how did we first meet?: gym

5. What was your first impression?: i wonder what she feels like, i wonder what she thinks of

6. Do you still think that way about me now?: a wee bit but now when i think of you i think of our past moments and think of the ones to come in home that they'll be great

7. What do you think my weakness is?: i wanna say i have an idea but i'll have you ask you

8. Do you think i'll get married?: yes, yes i do =)

9. Who will i marry?: :x i can't answer that

10. What makes me happy?: emily, and i wanna say drawing and ummmm..... me! haha =)

11. What makes me sad?: things, once again i'm not really sire :(

12. What reminds you of me?: mostly everything =)

13. If you could give me anything what would it be?: the world <3

14. How well do you know me?: i still feel like i have much to learn about you but we have time =)

15. When was the last time you saw me?: at the end of the day

16. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?: yeah, thats when i sometimes kiss you because i can't find the right words so a kiss sometimes does it? you tell me

17. Do you think i could kill someone?: nope

18. Describe me in one word.: amazing <3

19. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/staying the same?: stronger

20. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and i would listen?: yeah i do

21. Are you going to put this on your myspace and see what i say about you?: blogger good enough? =)

24. Would you buy me beer or whiskey?: umm i don't think so babe =)

26. Would you help me out if i was getting jumped?: i would much rather get two black eyes than to see a single scratch on you <3

i have given myself meaning

=) lets see if i can pull it off

i wonder

.........

and how do i know the way the wing blows? cause i can feel it all around :(

i don't even wat to say anything but :(

today 10/12/7

Was nice, im glad I was behide cat at the start of the day because I've been thinking of doing that =) (I hope she didn't find it odd) haha I told sarah I like always have my sidekick on me and she was like can you go online from it? And I was like yeah and aim and I get my own tmobile email thing and I can get my aol mail too and just blah sidekicks are sweet. But not sweeter than kissing her, I haven't kissed her lips in awhile and I almost forgot how amazing it felt. I hope she liked today. Well im here so I gotta go. Love always~ bryan <3

wow =)

i feel so bad :(

i feel sick and my body aches :(
i hope it stays this dark but i know it won't.
the same thoughts are on my mind :( i don't know how to get rid of them.
well i have to suck it up because life must go on and i must play my role :'(
love always~ bryan

i must have hope

but it's hard sometimes ya know?
my head feels like it weighs aton and
it's hard to hold it up. i must stop being afraid,
roy told me that fear is a disease but is it? he's way stronger than me.
the kid thinks im strong and when i look at it i am. i wanna protect her from everything. i never want to see her hurt. it's always raining in my head but i try to dance in the rain. i've been thinking alot about that lately, it's of you and me dancing in the rain. i must fight to push forward, i'll fight. i lov her so much. i wish she could see. one of these days, i promise. catalina rose mckay, if on;y you knew, if only you knew <3

what a wonderful end to a great week!

;'( not really, I don't even know what to say. I cold single tear just rolled down my cheak. The footbal game was nearly five percent of it. But I walked out of ad's with my head down. I pictured myself standing on big ben on a rainy day with a full moon today ah screw it. Well she's talking to me now. Not even japanese music and make me smile now. Im scared :'( I'll never be as good as everyone else. No matter what I did I was always 2nd best. Now im not even that. No one can be proud of me, mrs.ryan told me she was but I just don't know. The words im ashamed of you keeps repeating over and over in my mind, making me cry even more. I felt like it was wrong of me to walk into "my" room, it says bryan salazar on the door. I don't even know who that is anymore. I feel like I have no name.

*sigh* :(

im disapointed.
those goes an other nail into my coffen

im glad i was named after him =)

Heaven



when you love someone



Here i am



Please Forgive Me



So much if not all of them makes me think of you <3

i want to fing a place where it wont be so cold all the time, a place, a safe place

a somewhere in between? my mind won't stop racing :(

i wonder

if "im sorry" is for me,
well im listening to back at one
and it makes me think of you <3

one, you’re like a dream come true
Two, just wanna be with you
Three, girl it’s plain to see
That you’re the only one for me and
Four, repeat steps one through three
Five, make you fall in love with me
If ever I believe my work is done
Then I’ll start back at one

my first "sad"song

was anytime, i remember when i frist heard it, i must have been 5 or six but i loved it when i first heard it. thanks Brian McKnight

21ish?

i can't wait to get my tattoos.
i've know what ive wanted for about two years.
:x well i'll be back~ love always, bryan <3

wow me

i couldnt find my lighter and jen told me where it was and it took me a while to see it. im as blind as a bat, haha my mom always tells me that my eyes have no reason to be "big" because they don't work anyways but there just pretty to look at. idk well it's 9:47 and blah :/

9/12/7?

well it's 9:25 and i woke up abput seven mins ago, my whole arm looks like a billion bikes went over it :D today is a big day for us. we need to take down the pats. if we do i'll idk but i'll be soooooo happy! well i need to find new underground music so i'll be back. love always~bryan <3

I feel like

I feel like a solider, I put a black bandana around my neck and my eyes look lighter brown and my body looks like I came out of a knife fight. And with her necklace around my neck it might as well be my dog tags. I just pictured myself as a solider and just idk. Do you know what happens when you bring a knife to a gun fight? I love her, I don’t know what I am. A fighter or a lover. Well it’s haha 12:38 once again. This little soldier boy needs to dream. I’ll make the ground strong enough for you to stand. Always thinking of you, love always~ bryan

Tonight

we imed one another for like two hours if not more =)
im never forget what was said <3 she has no i dea how much she means to me.
well im watching running scared so i'll be back? haha that made me think of Arnold Schwarzenegger. well im super happy =P and i have cat to thank for that, thank you. well byebye~ love always, bryan <3

talk?

to me?

I loved it when sonny song we are, we are and everyone chanted the rest

He put his life to an end they might remember him then.
You cross a line and there is no turnin back
He told the world how he felt with the sound of a gat.

i hope she knows im not mad,
i've tryed reaching her but i got nothing.
i'll call her soon. i wrote somthing today but i think i
won't post it. with these hands, with theses hands. i wish i could hold her hand. <3

We are, We are(We are)the youth of the nation

Last day of the rest of my life
I wish I would have known cause i'd a kissed my momma good-bye.
I didn't tell her that I loved her or how much cared
or thank my pops for all the talks and all the wisdom he shared.
Unaware I just did what I always do.
Everyday the same routine before I skate off to school
But who knew that this day wasnt like the rest,
Instead of takin the test I took two to the chest.

Call me blind but I didn't see it comin
and everybody was runnin
but I couldn't hear nothin, except
gun blast, it happened so fast
I didn't really know this kid though I sat by him in class.
Maybe this kid was reachin out for love or
maybe for a moment he forgot who he was or
maybe this kid just wanted to be hugged,
whatever it was I know its because

CHORUS
We are, We are(We are)the youth of the nation
We are, We are(We are) youth of the nation
We are, We are(We are)the youth of the nation
We are, We are(We are) youth of the nation

Little Suzzie she was only twelve
She was given the world with every chance to excel
Hang with the boys and hear the stories they tell
She might act kinda proud but no respect for herself

She finds love in all the wrong places
The same situations just different faces.
Changed up her pace since her daddy left her
Too bad he never told her she deserved much better.

Johnny boy always played the fool,
He broke all the rules so you would think he was cool.
He was never really one of the guys
No matter how hard he tried,
Often thought of suicide
It's kinda hard when you ain't got no friends,
He put his life to an end they might remember him then.
You cross a line and there is no turnin back
He told the world how he felt with the sound of a gat.

CHORUS
We are, We are(We are)the youth of the nation
We are, We are(We are) youth of the nation
We are, We are(We are)the youth of the nation
We are, We are(We are) youth of the nation


Who's to blame for the life that tragedies claim?
No matter what you say it won't take away the pain
That I feel inside, I'm tired of all the lies
Don't nobody know why
It's the blind leadin' the blind.
Guess that's the way that the story goes,
Will it ever make sense somebody's gotta know,
There's gotta be more to life than this,
There's got to be more to everything
I thought exists

We are, We are the youth of the nation
We are, We are youth of the nation
We are, We are, (We are, we are) the youth the youth of the nation
We are, We are, (We are, we are) youth the youth of the nation
We are we are(we are) the youth of the nation(the youth of the nation)
We are we are(we are) youth of the nation(the youth of the nation)
We are we are(we are) the youth of the nation(the youth of the nation)
We are we are(we are) youth of the nation(the youth of the nation)
(we are) youth of the nation
(we are) youth of the nation
(we are) youth of the nation, (we are)

This is my December

This is my December
This is my time of the year
This is my December
This is all so clear
This is my December
This is my snow covered home
This is my December
This is me alone

And I,
Just wish that I didn't feel
Like there was something I missed
And I,
Take back all the things I said
To make you feel like that
And I,
Just wish that I didn't feel
Like there was something I missed
And I,
Take back all the things that I said to you

And I'd give it all away
Just to have somewhere to go to
Give it all away
To have someone to come home to

This is my December
These are my snow covered trees
This is me pretending
This is all I need

And I,
Just wish that I didn't feel
Like there was something I missed
And I,
Take back all the things I said
To make you feel like that
And I,
Just wish that I didn't feel
Like there was something I missed
And I,
Take back all the things that I said to you

And I'd give it all away
Just to have somewhere to go to
Give it all away
To have someone to come home to

This is my December
This is my time of the year
This is my December
This is all so clear

Give it all away
Just to have somewhere to go to
Give it all away
To have someone to come home to

Give it all away
Just to have somewhere to go to
Give it all away
To have someone to come home to

Catalina

If snowflakes were kisses I’d send you a blizzard.
please stop? i love you, i don't wanna know my little one is...
well no matter what i'll always be there for you. (always) <3 your (call me whatever you what)~bryan <3

love me?

The walls between
You and I

Always pushing us apart nothing left but scars fight after fight

The space between
Our calm and rage
started growing shorter , disappearing slowly day after day

I was sitting there waiting in my room for you
You were waiting for me too
And it makes me wonder

The older I get
Will I get over it
It's been way too long for the times we missed

I didn't know then it would hurt like this but I think
The older I get
Maybe I'll get over it
It's been way too long for the times we missed
I can't believe it still hurts like this

The time between
Those cutting words
Built up our defenses never made no sense it just made me hurt
Do you believe
That time heals all wounds
It started getting better but it's easy not to fight when I'm not with you

I was sitting there waiting in my room for you
You were waiting for me too
And it makes me wonder

The older I get
Will I get over it
It's been way too long for the times we missed

What was I waiting for
I should've taken less and given you more
I should've weathered the storm
I need to say so bad
What were you waiting for
This could have been the best we ever had

The older I get
Will I get over it
It's been way too long for the times we missed

[Altro:]
I'm just getting older
I'm not getting over you I'm trying to
I wish it didn't hurt like this
It's been way too long for the times we missed
I can't believe it still hurts like this

God bless the broken road

I set out on a narrow way, many years ago
Hoping I would find true love, along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two, wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign, pointed straight to you

Every long lost dream, led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way, into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
Yes He did

I think about the years I spent, just passin' through
I'd like to have the time I lost, and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand, you've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan, that is comin' true

Every long lost dream, led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way, into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

Yeah

Now I'm just rollin' home into my lovers arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

i want to scream but :'( (1984)

now this is what i needed to get the blood that runs in my vains racing

in joy and sorrow

did it for me now blah :/
now im listening to bittersweet :/

now this is what i needed =)

bored

I keep thinking of that little boy that plays the piano in better days

it's 12:39 and idk.
i've been thinking about everything.
well i never stop thinking for my mind is always racing.
but there are times when this girl is around me that nothing is
on my mind but her and my heart beats faster and faster, like my heart feels like it's gonna burst out of my cheat and i have to remind my self to breah. now im thinking of my dream. now in thinking of when bruce held jason in he's arms and jason was dead. willful jason, who ignored danger and spat at risk. he was never frightened enough. i've always wondered, (always).. was he scared in the end? was he praying i'd come save him? and in those last moments when he knew i wouldnt. :'( well i sort of sleepy and it's 12:50 now. i just keep wondering. did it mean anything that i was there? it's so cold. i can feel the cold sliping in though the window. well i just kisses her necklace <3 if only she knew the dempth of my love for her. i love her. well off to bed i go. gosh im even cold to the touch. sweet dreams. love always~ bryan <3

Our farewell

So sorry your world is tumbling down
I will watch you through these nights
Rest your head and go to sleep
Because my child, this not our farewell.
This is not our farewell

it's getting me all teary eyed.
i wonder how her day was and if i even made a difference.
i never seen jen cry before, but today i changed that.
i wonder about so much. i wish i could walk toward the moon untill i fall
and my name is forgotten. i must keep hope. i must....

Night 7/12/7

seeing tori was sweet and andy and the gang but i was so happy to see tori and andy and dyllan. i got checked on my three girls so that was a wee bit odd :/ but andy andy tori could see that i wasnt feeling it so much today. ha tori leaned on me and said santa all i want this christmas is for you to smile. it was nice of her and then since i had my head down andy and tori took my arms and like put my hands on my waist and put there arms though and said you have two gorgeous people by your side so cheer up little emm kid :) but i missed my little one :/ well i hope she had fun tonight. love always~ bryan

hello there

well i think im going to the mall?
on;y reason im going is so i wont be alone this friday night.
i feel well nevermind. love always- bryan <3

Sharon Den Adel has an awesomee voice.

if i didnt go to mexico i few years back i would have gotten my first taste of symphonic metal <3 well im ever so sleepy. keep me safe while i sleep <3 nighty night <3

Today 7/12/7

i looked sooo bad today but it looked like she didnt care =)
i loved it when we had our arms on eachother because we didnt want one of us in front. and idk i loved today. i kissed her alot today <3 i love my little girl soo fucking muchh <3 everything is rather too perfect? i told jen alot and i cryed alot so when i walked out it was snowing and i thought of the snow flakes like icely cold tears of angels. well love always~ bryan <3

This boy is sleepyyy

*yawn* the dierecter was over a bloody hour late! grrrr.
well i met a gymnast that won a sliver and gold metal. *face hits keyboard and falls asleep* zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

The Heart Of Everything (is amazing)

[Whisper] Memories, memories, memories

In this world you tried
Not leaving me alone behind
There's no other way
I'll pray to the gods: let him stay

The memories ease the pain inside
Now I know why

[Chorus:]
All of my memories
Keep you near
In silent moments
Imagine you'd be here
All of my memories
Keep you near
The silent whispers, silent tears

Made me promise I'd try
To find my way back in this life
I hope there is away
To give me a sign you're okay
Reminds me again
It's worth it all
So I can go home

[Chorus]

Together in all these memories
I see your smile
All the memories I hold dear
Darling you know I love you till the end of time

After school :D

was pretty school,
all the teachers are pretty
funny and they do have lives!
lol well i enjoyed being there. i hoped cat and i would comes out the same time but that didnt happen. but i wore my favorite hoodie and idk it made me happy. we need to hangout sometime. haha i skiped all the way to my locker and back :) idk and i kicked this stick all the way to my front door and wow im saying alot of ands. well anywho when i huged gaby people were like aww and some people asked me if she was my little sister. idk i thought it was cute. well anywho. i gotta go collect myself~ love always Bryan <3

Trent feels like the song isnt he's anymore because of johnny's cover but he sees it as an honorr that johnny cash did a cover of he's song

we all make them, what are some that you do?

The heart of The Steel City <3

In the end zone!

once again this is for you emily

haha, emily this is for you

i see you looking at me :)

my little cusin :) i miss this kid so much,
i remember holding him in my arms when he was a baby.
he drew a picture of me last time i was home and i didnt have a face really :)
because of my hair. he use to tug on my necklace when he was samller so last time i saw him he asked me if he could waer it and it meant alot to me, <3

me (catalina's)

GORGEOUS thats what she said but i don't think so
BOY♥

blahhh

this girl just called me gorgeous but
ah idk, no one in life calls me that.
idk,

Today 5/12/7

was strange,
i cryed all fourth
and i missed 5th and 6th because
i was at mrs.ryan's office :D she always knows
how to make me smile and how to make me laugh.
she knows me like the other side of her hand really.
well she told me about this one time about what the things she did to her sisters
and me made me laugh so hard and this one kid ran at full speed toward the door and i was like man is that nessasiy? i mean you can only run for what nine or ten feet and we burst out laughing :D and what happened this morning, im sorry about that cat. well besdies that everything went by swell. well im going with my mom to film :D i'll have my sidekick with me so text! *kisses a tooth<3) love always, bryan

A boy named goo

Is a great cd, gosh the goo goo dolls are amazing, and they've been around for more than ten years :) and johnny still has it. Hell last week they played before it's too late at the packers half time show! Mr. Way dosent have anything on johnnyy :p im always listening to a goo goo doll song. Every song is basicly amazing. There's so much like raw feeling in it and just wow. Well I now know what to do when I feel bad, I must think to myself what would bruce wayne do? Im a loser. Im laying on my bed under my favorite blanket (my steeler blanket) and listening and singing along to iris.I try to act on my thoughts but with meaning ya know? I wanted to do somthing at the dance but I failed to act. I won't do it again. Like I ask myself if it's right. Ah does anything I just said make sence?well I have a tooth to kiss and a short one to dream about so im afraid this is goodnight. Sweet dreams everyone. Love always~ bryan <3

:D

i just put on my new hoodie and im not sure why but i pictured my lttle one wearing it and how big it looked on her, its was adorable tho :) <3 i wanna see how it'll look, maybe? na i don't think she'll put it on. well i would so let her have it so when she's cold she could but it on and think of me. well it was so cute i felt like i just had to say somthing. gosh times like these is when i like it that my mind goes everywhere. <3

If you hide besides me maybe for a while, i wont tell them your name, i won't tell em your name

im thinking of a moment fourteen months ago.
:( i was the only one in my unit with the window open.
and everything in that moment felt so right. on that halloween night
where i sat on the window sill and overlooked the people down people trick or treating.
my necklace over my gown. hair perfect. i didn't want to go with the rest of the unit to the other floors so manny got me things. but just the though of how i must have looked is amazing? like have you ever felt like what your doing or where you are or whom your with feels so right? strange isnt it? but winderful at the same time. that night was when i said, "i wonder if there's a girl thats wisjing for a guy like me, i wonder if im needed somewhere out there, anywhere". i wrote everything down. mrs.brooks told me today "why do you hide those eyes of yours? and i didnt respond, she said it's a shame you hide them because their beautiful" it sounded odd at the time but what a sweet thing to say about my eyes. my mothers friends use to want to look at them everytime they could because they said they pretty. the people back home in el paso. people don't say anything sweet to me much anymore because people here are way different from the people back home. say somthing sweet to me? That just triggered me to think of the nightmare/dream i had. kiss me and tell me you love me <3

right now

im in the happyest mood ever =)

i don't want to leave without this

And you ask me what I want this year
And I try to make this kind and clear
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
Cause I don't need boxes wrapped in strings
And designer love and empty things
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cause everyone is forgiven now
Cause tonight's the night the world begins again

I need someplace simple where we could live
And something only you can give
And thats faith and trust and peace while we're alive
And the one poor child who saved this world
And there's 10 million more who probably could
If we all just stopped and said a prayer for them

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cause everyone is forgiven now
Cause tonight's the night the world begins again

I wish everyone was loved tonight
And somehow stop this endless fight
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cause everyone is forgiven now
Cause tonight's the night the world begins again
Cause tonight's the night the world begins again


Always have hope. (always) i believe in you.
i think it's so ciute how the little boy is playing the piano.
well this song always give me hope. i'll take your hand and never let go,
i'll love you with all my heart. You have given me wonderful memories so far and i know theres many to come. baby i love you <3 now it's my turn to be strong

Bryan, bryan, bryan

ah i want to talk to you so badly cat,
i feel like i want to tell you alot.
well if you read this, think of questions so when i call you we can talk and not sit in silence? well it really dosent matter but w/e? well over and out. love always bryan <3

:/

Don't you hate it when you feel the cold chill creep down your spine?
i mean i feel it all tjhe time but gosh. ah cat cat cat. talk?

Thanks for talking to me emily =)

well my mom just told me that she was kinda messing with my phone and she got into the music player and my japanese music started playing tands thats why it was low. well im charging my cell. but thanks emily

i wish i knew, i wish i knew

i've given myself fake hope now so im okay now?
gosh my head is killing me now.

i wrote this big letter to someone

but i rather not say a word.
i just had to get all that out,
i've cryed every last tear out so theres
none left to come out. this morning when i was
walking behind her and she turned her head. her eyes looked
bright brown, like mine? i want to say somthing but im afraid.
i want to spill my heart out to someone but i just don't know.
my eyes look prettyer when im crying. im sorry. i love you

i wish i could say everything

this hurt so much ;'(

I feel as if i must chose sides now.

i don't understand,
i mean i do but i don't even know lizzy!
im so lost. well when i got home i grabed my ipod and
climed the tree in my back yard quicky as i listened to sliver and cold.
i was silly last night. im no bruce wayne nor a hero of any matter. i just realized so much last night. i want to say so much but i now knoe everyone can read this. :x well i still have my journal

Love

is all what it came down to, later on i'll say everything